My man & I "Skype sex." I fake orgasms because I can't orgasm without watching porn & am focused on how I look. How can I orgasm with him?

Answers (1)

S. Michael Plaut, Ph.D. (Psychologist & Certified Sex Therapist) answered (2/2/2013)

There are two issues here. The first has to do with honesty in your relationship with your boyfriend. You are being untruthful and this can easily generalize into other aspects of your relationship, causing serious trust issues.

The second issue has to do with what it takes for you to have an orgasm. First of all, if your boyfriend knew that you were having trouble having an orgasm, he might be able to do things in your Skype sessions that would help.

In order to answer the question of why you are not having orgasm, I would want to know a few other things. Do you have orgasms with him when you are together in person. If so, can you do it without porn and what can lead you to have orgasm - intercourse, manual or oral stimulation, vibrator, etc.? What do you think about when you have sex? Enhancing your sexual fantasy might help you to have orgasm without the need for porn. I would also want to know what kinds of porn work for you. You might want to read a good book about women's sexuality like Sex Matters for Women by Sallie Foley et al., which will be given the consumer book award by the Society for Sex Therapy and Research in April. If this does not help, you might want to consult a qualified sex therapist